Today, I am bullet-proof.
For my life changed just a little bit again by being in in New York. I know that I'm pretty much back to reality already, but I'm skimming the surface like a Jesus Lizard, not under it like most others.
When you exist on the fringes, it becomes an easy place to play. Sure, sometimes you wish you could be a part of whatever it is everybody else seems to have, but for the most part, you're just happy that you get to check out anytime it feels right.
Ro is in India for another week :( But when she's home, I just know it'll be amazing. We've been buoyed by our adventures - by not just accepting what we have, but grabbing at what we need.
I had so many people telling me they were jealous of my escapades, but I just say there's nothing to be jealous of. You buy a plane ticket, you go away. People do it everyday, it's not that hard. Of course, getting the things that you want out of life will always be harder than accepting the things you don't, but there's a magic in between it all, a moment that you own. The finest talents in the world recognise it, from boxers to cellists, from architects trying to reach the skies and rappers trying to get their mixes out to the streets: If you aim for something that is almost impossible, the soul fires up and the heart beats like a drum. Too many people exist, too few people live.
So now I'm cutting this film, it feels like it was always meant to go this way. Not just the shoot, but the circumstances that led to it. Let it be noted that my day job is about to crumble away beneath my feet, and so I'll have to be ready for when it does. I'll be punching my way out of some more bullshit soon enough, but for now, I'm focussed on sewing together the best film I can, because maybe, just maybe, I can go all the way with it.